I'm supposed to teach my children how to handle money.

Right.

Instead, I just raised their allowances by a decimal point.

My brilliant and talented husband, Captain Awesome, is appalled. "They'll all start drug habits with that kind of money!"

Are you kidding? I'm going to be fining the living daylights out them. I charge to take you to school when you're late. To fetch your homework. To redeem the P.E. shoes you left in the living room...